


Reunions

by lonelysector23



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Angst, Comfort, Grief/Mourning, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Mental Abuse, Reunion, evil family members, seeing long lost family again
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-26
Updated: 2018-02-26
Packaged: 2019-03-24 12:11:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,383
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13810932
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lonelysector23/pseuds/lonelysector23
Summary: After arguing with the Chancellor, Lily reunites with a family member she thought she'd never see again.





	Reunions

The chantry was a place that Lily tried to stay away from as much as she could. Aside from her lack of faith, she felt that she just didn’t belong there. As far as she knew, she was something unwanted, something that should be regarded with hate and distrust. Chancellor Roderick had said as much, even going as far as demanding her head for the destruction of the Temple of Sacred Ashes and the death of Divine Justinia.

It seemed like the man had a knack for knowing exactly where she was. She had dealt with his constant accusations and hateful insults since Cassandra had dragged her out of the chantry’s dungeon, and it had gone on for weeks, maybe even months after that. Lily didn’t really keep track anymore. She tried to ignore him as best as she could, but one afternoon, the Chancellor crossed a line.

Lily was on her way back to Haven’s main gates after gathering herbs and other supplies for the apothecary when she saw the Chancellor stomping his way towards her. She sighed deeply upon spotting him and braced herself for his usual verbal onslaught. Judging by the bulging vein in his forehead and his flushed face, this round of beratements and who knows what else was going to be worse than what she had received in the past. This was not something she wanted others to witness or overhear, so she stopped some distance away from the training soldiers.

“You will result in the destruction of us all!” he shouted. “I cannot understand why these fools don’t understand this!”

Lily’s patience was finally beginning to wear thin. “We’ve explained to you, again and again, that the only means we have to close the breach is _this_ ,” she snapped, holding up her left hand. The glowing mark was covered by her leather glove, but it was still obvious what she was referring to. “That hole in the sky is what will kill us all if it doesn’t get taken care of. Is it really that hard for you to understand?”

His scowl deepened. “Mind your tone, _mage_. You have already tried to close the breach once, and you failed. For all we know, that was your intention! And now you’re trying to get the Revered Mother involved in whatever schemes you have planned? I will not allow it!”

“Mother Giselle has done nothing but help people who were in need of it, and she has continued to do so since the moment she arrived here. What have you done, besides running around, spewing hate all over the place?” Lily pressed on, despite the Chancellor’s blabbering. “If you seriously can’t understand the gravity of this situation, then the only fool here is _you_.”

Shock flickered in his expression. The vein in his forehead looked like it was about to burst, and Lily thought he vaguely resembled a tomato in chantry clothing. “What did you just say to me, you-”

“Should I use simpler words, perhaps?”

Lily watched as he took a small step forward and willed herself to remain where she stood. She refused to be intimidated by a chantry lunatic.

“This is all happening because of _you_ ,” he snapped, jabbing his index finger in her direction.  “You should have never been allowed in the Conclave. Or better yet, your mother should have never given birth to such a filthy abomination-”

“CHANCELLOR!”  

Rage surged through Lily’s body, and if it weren’t for the two armored figures suddenly stepping in between her and the Chancellor, she probably would have slapped him. She wasn’t sure if he knew her mother had died when she was a child, and frankly, she didn’t care. It was one thing for him to come after her, but it was another to go after her family, especially when they were gone. Her body was shaking with anger and she clenched her fists as she took deep breaths in an effort to calm down.

“What in the void makes you think you can speak to anyone like that, let alone the Herald?” snarled the Commander.

“She’s no herald, she’s an insult to the chantry! Her mere existence-”

“Enough!” snapped Cassandra, taking a step forward. “If you insist on behaving as an overgrown child because you did not have your way, then you will be treated as one!”

Lily was vaguely aware of the Commander moving to stand beside her as her blood continued to rush in her ears. Normally, the gesture would have resulted in a fluttering sensation in her stomach but in that moment, she was far too upset to be able to feel anything else. She could see the Chancellor now, nostrils flaring as he glared at Cassandra.

“And what will you do, Seeker? You cannot-”

“We could always escort you out of Haven, for one. I’m sure not many people here would argue for you to stay.”

The Chancellor stood there, mouth agape and red faced, his eyes darting back and forth between the three of them for a few seconds. “I hope you haven’t doomed us all with your heresy,” he growled, before finally storming away.

Lily glared at the snow covered ground as she continued to take deep breaths. Her heart was pounding and she couldn’t stop shaking. She had gotten into arguments with the Chancellor before, but this time, he knew just where to hit hard enough for it to hurt.

Cullen shifted next to her. “Are you alright?” His voice seemed almost gentle compared to how he spoke to the Chancellor just moments ago.

“Yes,” she lied. At least her voice was clear. Now, if only her stupid hands would stop shaking...

She could feel him looking at her, almost as if he sensed how she was truly feeling and she found herself needing to quickly move on from the subject. “I’m sorry for disturbing you both. I was really hoping no one would hear that.” She looked up at him briefly, feeling embarrassed that they had witnessed her indulging that annoying man with an argument and somewhat confused they even bothered to defend her in the first place. She was a mage after all, and they had both made their stances on magic pretty clear soon after she met them.

He looked at her for a moment before he shook his head slightly, dismissing her concern. “It’s alright. That man has a way of making himself heard, I’m afraid.”

Lily’s brows furrowed as she looked up at him.

“He has been pestering everyone nonstop since we arrived here,” he explained. His voice held a note of exasperation as he watched the man’s retreating form. “Maker, the nerve of that man.”

“Let’s hope he got the message this time,” muttered Cassandra, as she placed her hand on Lily’s shoulder. “I hear Adan has been expecting you. A new group of refugees arrived not long ago with only minor injuries, thank the Maker.”

Lily sighed as she turned her gaze to the frozen dirt. So that’s why they rushed over to her. She was merely needed somewhere else, and the Chancellor had been preventing her from doing what she was supposed to. Managing to convince him to finally leave them alone was probably just an added benefit. She hoisted her full bag of supplies higher up on her shoulder, wanting to get away from them and the situation as quickly as possible.

Despite her conclusions, she was thankful they had intervened when they did. Violence wouldn’t have solved anything - it would have only served as proof for the ones who opposed the inquisition that she was dangerous and a threat.

She murmured her thanks before quickly making her way to the apothecary. The situation with the Chancellor might have been quelled for now, but she still felt uneasy. She had known about a few confrontations he had with Cassandra and Cullen, but she didn’t know the Chancellor’s harassment was so widespread. Trying to stay out of his way still seemed like the best option.

There was no one around but Adan and his assistant when she arrived. The people who had shown up must have settled into the makeshift clinic next to the apothecary. Adan stood in front of his worktable, his back turned to her as he scooped a meager amount of some sort of salve into a glass jar. It looked like she had brought the supplies he needed just in time.

He was his usual gruff self as he rummaged through the bag and set out the herbs he needed in a neat row on an empty table. He quickly turned her down when she offered to help and waved her away, claiming that the injuries weren’t severe enough to require her assistance.

It was then when Lily found herself at a loss of where to go or what to do. She had been hoping Adan would’ve kept her busy with something, _anything_ , so her mind wouldn’t keep repeating her confrontation with the Chancellor. But like always, it seemed like she was on her own.

Despite everything, being alone was something she couldn’t help but embrace in that moment. She suddenly needed to be somewhere quiet, far away from the chatter of people going about their daily tasks and the sounds of training soldiers. That meant her assigned quarters were out, and it was getting too late to go anywhere else with the excuse of picking more herbs. Besides that, she didn’t want to stray too far in case she was needed. She chewed on her lip as she bounced the toe of her boot on the ground.

She must have looked odd, idly standing between the apothecary and the small clinic as she thought of where she could go. The last thing she needed was more suspicion to be thrown her way, whether it came from the Chancellor or from anyone else.

Her eyes reluctantly slid to the chantry’s large wooden doors.

Would he be in there? She didn’t see which direction he had stalked off in, and she really didn’t want to encounter him again. One could only handle so much animosity, and she felt as if she had reached her limit for the day.

It was only when she spotted the Chancellor angrily making his way out of the chantry, stomping past the quartermaster and out of sight, that she decided maybe the chantry wouldn’t be such a bad idea.

Her parents used to visit the chantry often when she was a child. Her mother had attended each service and visited whenever she was troubled, or when she just needed to have a moment of peace. Lily had gone with her each time, joined her mother as she knelt before the Maker and offered her prayers.

_For all the good it did. All they got in return for their unwavering faith was a mage for a daughter._

Lily shook her head, trying to clear the sudden wave grief and bitterness that she tried to keep buried since she was taken to the Circle almost eighteen years ago. It was a wound that was merely scabbed over, but never fully healed. Any little memory felt like a forceful jab that cracked the scab open again.

Although she may not have always been as devout as her parents were, she still remembered the sense of calm and comfort she always felt whenever she accompanied them. She swallowed as she stared at the chantry’s entrance.

No, Lily didn’t go into the chantry much, but there were times when it felt necessary. In that moment, it was something she needed.

The dim, warm glow of the hundreds of candles scattered throughout the chantry’s main hall enveloped her as the restless energy from outside faded away. It was relatively warm and quiet inside, with only a few chantry sisters talking quietly near Josephine’s office and she quickly slipped into one of the darkened alcoves before they spotted her.

She sat on one of the wooden pews that had been set aside and she sighed deeply, pulling out a small, rose tinted crystal she had found earlier that day from her coat pocket. The memory of the Chancellor’s infuriated face briefly appeared in her mind and clenched her eyes shut, forcing herself to focus on the present - a moment of peace that was all too rare and precious.

The cool surface of the small stone was a stark contrast to the heat of her skin, which was always noticeably warmer compared to everyone else. It was the same heat that had manifested when she was just eight years old, when-

She steered her mind away from the direction she knew it was going - the memory was something she couldn’t handle in that moment. Instead, she focused on how the stone quickly absorbed her body heat as she ran her thumb over its jagged edges.

She wasn’t sure how much time had passed, but her moment of quiet solitude quickly dissipated when a chantry sister began to pray. Her voice was almost like an unwelcome intrusion in Lily’s mind, loud and clear as it echoed throughout the large space.

_“For she who trusts in the Maker, fire is her water_

_As the moth sees light and goes toward flame_

_She should see fire and go towards light...”_

Others soon began to join her in prayer and Lily gritted her teeth as their voices rose and fell in unison, carrying words that she did not want to hear. She sighed roughly as she rose from her hiding spot and strode out of the chantry.

Crisp, cold air whipped at her face as she looked up at the sky. The sun was almost completely set, its fading light bathing the clouds in different hues of orange and pink as an occasional flicker of green unnaturally streaked through the bursts of color.

Well, at least the breach wasn’t growing anymore.  

She considered retiring for the day despite not having eaten anything as she walked back to her assigned quarters. Nightfall was quickly approaching, and there would surely be a stack of some sort of paperwork waiting for her on her desk. At least Leliana’s raven would be good company while she worked.

The usual greetings of “Herald” and “Maker be with you” followed her as she walked, and even though there weren’t as many people around as before, it made her all the more eager to retreat into the warm isolation of her small cabin. She had spent most of her life being nothing and no one, and now she was simultaneously hated, idolized and expected to somehow close that damned hole in the sky. The dramatic change was too much and too fast, and she didn’t know how to cope with it. The only thing she knew how to do was to take things one day at a time.

But sometimes, that tactic wasn’t enough to keep Lily’s thoughts at bay. She often found herself thinking of what her life was like before her magic manifested, often compared it to how it was afterward. Everything had been so simple, carefree, and she was actually _happy_. She had lost everything she knew and loved in mere minutes and she still found herself longing for that life eighteen years later.

Out of everything, she missed her parents the most. She thought of them often, each time a heavy weight settling over her as the image of them became blurred with time.

It seemed she would be losing her memory of them as well. As if she hadn’t lost enough already.

The familiar melancholy she was feeling in that moment quickly turned into confusion when she suddenly heard it. Her name. It was being called some distance away, but it was unmistakable.

She had been called many things since she fell out of the rift, but her true name was something she hadn’t heard since she left for the Conclave. It was a male voice, if she wasn’t mistaken, and it was one she didn’t recognize. She turned hesitantly, her eyes searching the direction the voice came from until she spotted a disheveled looking man near the apothecary quickly walking over to her. His steps grew cautious, almost unsure as he got closer and he stopped in his tracks when she looked at him, his mouth hanging slightly open in surprise despite his obvious weariness.

There was something odd about him. She didn’t recognize him, but there was some sort of a nagging feeling inside her as she took in his dark, shaggy hair and brown eyes, which were a shade similar to hers and accented by dark circles. He had a few small scrapes on one side of his face that led into thick stubble which could basically pass for a beard. He looked young overall, despite the fatigue in his eyes.

Lily’s wariness turned into concern when she saw the small spatter of old, dried blood on his coat and thick smudges of mud covering his trousers and boots. It was then when she noticed his clothing looked a little too loose for his tall frame, almost as if he hadn’t eaten well in weeks.

“Are you one of the refugees who arrived earlier? Are you hurt?” She took a small step forward, searching for any signs that he was possibly injured only to stop abruptly when her eyes settled on his right hand. It was scarred, the skin slightly raised and puckered with the faintest hint of pink coloring the surface, almost as if he had been burned.

No.

No, no, no. This had to be a coincidence. He couldn’t possibly-

“Lily,” he said her name confidently as he broke into a wide smile, joy almost erasing the exhaustion that was deeply settled in him as he stepped forward, arms slightly outstretched as if wanting to embrace her.

Tears stung her eyes as she gaped at him. Everything inside her felt like a jumbled mess - disbelief and confusion combined with suspicion and panic despite the brief moment of hopeful joy she felt upon recognizing him. She was overwhelmed with memories from a time that no longer existed, memories from their childhood that involved games of tag, scraped knees, laughter, and trampled flowers along with arguments, tears, and protection from other kids who hadn’t been very kind.

He used to be the brother she never had.

After all these years, she had accepted the fact that she wouldn’t see her family again and yet there was Raphael, her cousin, smiling at her despite looking beaten and worn. It didn’t feel real. Good things don’t happen to her, not without something else going horribly wrong.

Why was he here?

Lily knew her extended family didn’t have much of a reputation for being kind-hearted. She knew that much from all the arguments she had overheard and some letters she sneakily read when she was a child. If she remembered correctly, the topic that was often fought about was coin - how they needed more and how her parents were selfish for not wanting to help. It seemed the only time her parents had heard from the rest of the family was when they wanted something.

She never once heard from Raphael during the years she stayed in the Circle, not that she ever expected to. The only people she had managed to keep in touch with were her parents, and even that had been extremely limited.

Was that the reason why Raphael stood there in front of her, then? Did their family put him up to this, even though the Inquisition was barely taking its first steps?

No, they wouldn’t try anything while everything was so unsure. They would wait and see if the Inquisition gained enough power and influence before trying to dig their claws in.

But still… they may have been close when they were young, but things could have easily changed during the eighteen years since they last saw each other.

Especially when their last meeting had ended so badly all those years ago.

They had been fighting over a stupid book she couldn’t even remember the name of. She still remembered how they fought over whose turn it was to read it and how they both pulled at it, neither one of them wanting to give in. Raphael, being a few years older than her, had managed to wrench it from her grasp but she didn’t let him get away - her hand had latched on to his, and there was suddenly a flash of fire and smoke, his surprised yelp quickly turning into screaming as their parents rushed into the room.

The next thing she knew, she was being taken away, pulled from her mother’s arms by large figures dressed in armor.

Did he want some sort of revenge for what she did to him?

Lily couldn’t help but eye him with suspicion as she took a small step backward, pushing aside a slight twinge of guilt when she saw his smile falter.

He lowered his arms to his sides, awkwardly fidgeting with the hem of his coat as he glanced at the ground. “Sorry, I thought you might have recognized me.” He looked up at her, his hand coming up to gesture at himself. “I’m your cousin, Raphael.”

“I know.” She stared at his scarred hand, only looking away when he slid it into his coat pocket. “What are you doing here?”

His eyes widened slightly at her curt tone. “I - I met some people in Redcliffe who were coming here. They talked about wanting to join the Inquisition and… well, they said your name.”

Lily looked down at a few blades of dried grass poking through the snow, unsure of what to say. Did he think she was guilty like so many people believed? If he did, then he’d surely realize that there was little to no advantage in trying to use her for their family’s gain - she was a mage after all, a declared heretic by the chantry, who supposedly tore open the sky and killed the Divine. “What else did they say?”

“That you’re all helping people when no one else is. Something the chantry has forgotten how to do, I guess.”

She looked up at him, surprised.

“I’ve never liked to think of rumors as automatic truths,” he said with a small shrug.

She had been expecting some sort of hidden accusation in his answer, but the familiar frankness she recognized in his voice caught her off guard. It was the same blunt honesty he had always offered when he was younger and for the first time since she awoke in the chantry’s dungeon, she wasn’t seen as a prisoner, a murderer, a mage, a heretic, or a herald - she was just a person who wanted to help whoever needed it during these times of chaos.

She was just Lily.

Quiet murmurs suddenly caught her attention, and she noticed out of the corner of her eye a few chantry sisters looking in their direction with obvious interest. It was as if they felt entitled to know about everything she did or everyone she spoke to, and she was getting tired of it. While they would inform the Chancellor about everything they had seen and heard, wherever he was, they would not be getting anything more than that.

“Let’s go to the apothecary. You need to get looked at.” she said quietly, walking towards him.

Raphael glanced back at them with an annoyed expression before nodding and moving to walk alongside her. He kept his voice low as he spoke. “Sorry. I shouldn’t have said that chantry bit, huh?”

Her mind briefly went to Cullen, Cassandra and herself. “Trust me, they’ve heard worse from other people here.”

Flickering light from the fireplace shone through the apothecary’s windows, signaling that Adan was still inside and Lily chose to wait by the clinic to give Raphael some privacy. He stepped outside a few minutes later with a jar of salve in his hand and he walked towards her, rotating his shoulder with a wince.

“That man doesn’t have much of a bedside manner, does he?” he grumbled as he pushed the clinic door open and stepped inside.

Lily stood from the barrel she had been leaning on and followed him, closing the door behind her. The large room was silent except for the crackling fireplace and many cots inside were unoccupied, except for a few that had some packs and other belongings set on top. The rest of the people who had arrived must have gone to the tavern for supper.

She watched as he walked over to a cot and set a few bags on the floor, remembering how Adan pretty much saved her life when she was unconscious for days after she tried to close the breach. “He’s stern, but he knows what he’s doing. How badly are you hurt?”

“Just a few bumps and bruises.” He sat on the edge of his cot with a groan and ran his scarred hand through his hair exhaustedly. “It doesn’t help that we haven’t eaten or rested much on our way here. Things are crazy out there.” he looked up at her suddenly, a sheepish look on his face. “...Sorry. That was a huge understatement.”

Lily hesitated before walking over to the empty cot next to him and sat down, placing her now empty bag on the floor. She still wasn’t sure of his intentions, but she doubted he would put himself through hell just for a couple of sovereigns and political favors.

Her eyes followed his scarred hand as he rested it on his knee. His constant apologies hadn’t gone unnoticed by her and she wished he would stop.

She gave a small shrug, wanting to dismiss his words. “It doesn’t make it any less true.” Her eyes slid to the bloodstains on his coat. “What happened? Were you attacked?”

Raphael looked down at his hands, sighing as he weaved his fingers together. “We were on the Imperial Highway when we ran into a few templars and mages fighting each other. We tried to get away, but we weren’t fast enough. Before we knew it, a templar was charging at us. He took two of us down before we managed to…” he trailed off for a moment before clearing his throat. “We tried to be more careful after that. We stayed off main roads for the most part as we made our way here. Now that I think about it, we got off easy compared to other people we found.”

Lily’s most recent experience in the Hinterlands confirmed as much. They had been searching for the mage and templar hideouts when they found bodies burnt beyond recognition, families who had been brutally slaughtered when they were caught in the fray while trying to escape. Raphael and his group had been lucky to make it to Haven relatively unhurt despite losing two people. She made a mental note to talk to Cullen about possibly organizing patrols along the Imperial Highway as a precaution.

She sent a rare and brief thanks to the Maker for allowing him to make it to Haven alive as she smiled at him. “I’m glad you all made it here safely.”

He gave her a small, weary smile before running his other hand through his hair.

An unsure silence settled upon them and she shifted in her seat as she looked at his hand again. There was so much she wanted to say, but where would she even start? A simple apology didn’t feel like enough and she didn’t deserve his forgiveness anyway.

She was considering leaving him alone so he could rest when he suddenly started to chuckle.

“What?”

He tried to suppress a laugh as he gestured to her hair. “I still remember those pigtails you always insisted on doing yourself. They were always crooked and you would get mad if anyone tried to fix them.”

Seeing him laugh made her feel like a fool for not recognizing him earlier - the more she looked at him, the easier it was to see the features that she remembered when they were both children and Lily couldn’t help but smile as she tugged at her braid. “I figured a braid would be a little more appropriate now.”

She saw his smile dim into concern as his gaze settled on her marked hand. It was still covered up by her glove and she quickly tucked it into her coat pocket, hoping he wouldn’t bring it up. He seemed to understand as he looked back down at his own hands.

They were both quiet for a few moments, listening to muffled chatter and the gentle crackling of the fireplace before he looked back up at her tentatively. “Lily, I’m sorry-”

She closed her eyes. “Raphael, please stop.”

“Stop what?”

“Stop apologizing,” she snapped. Tears quickly welled in her eyes as a string that had been pulled taught for so long finally broke. “The only person who should be sorry is me for doing _that_ to you!” Her voice cracked as she wildly gestured at his hand. “You should hate me for it, yet you find me with a smile on your face and you’re sitting here, talking as if it never happened. I could have killed you and you still-”

“But you didn’t.”

Lily stared at him. “ _What?_ ”

“I’m still here,” he replied. “I’m not going to deny that it hurt or that I was mad at you for a while after, but I have _never_ hated you. I know it was an accident.”

“That doesn’t justify anything! I could have-”

“But you didn’t,” he repeated, his voice gentle but firm. “Lily, it wasn’t your fault. Don’t torture yourself over something I forgave years ago. Forget about what could have happened and instead focus on what actually _is_.”

He made it sound so simple. How could she possibly forget about nearly killing someone she cared about? She still remembered the shocked look on his face, how he had screamed...

She didn’t know what she would have done if the worst had happened.

He stared at her, almost as if knowing what she was thinking. “I know it’s easier said than done, but please try.”

Lily wiped her eyes with her sleeve before meeting his gaze. She felt ashamed for accepting his comfort when she was the one who hurt him in the first place. Nothing she would ever say or do would be enough to erase what happened, but she needed to try. “I know you said you forgave me long ago, but please know that I’m sorry.”

“It’s alright,” he murmured, giving her a small smile. “I really do need to apologize to you, though. For not figuring out where you were earlier. If I had known, I would’ve tried to visit or at least write to you.”

_He didn’t know?_

Lily leaned forward, a shaky sigh escaping her as she rested her elbows on her knees. “It’s okay. I’m guessing our family did their best to keep everything a secret?”

“They did. I thought you might have been in the Ostwick Circle but my mother said you were taken somewhere else. She wouldn’t say where and she never let me visit my aunt and uncle to ask.” He sighed deeply. “Turns out it was a lie so I wouldn’t be able to contact you.”

Her chest constricted when he mentioned her parents. They didn’t just lose her, but they had been abandoned by their entire family, going as far as preventing Raphael from talking to them while keeping him in the dark for years. Her parents had died alone and were basically forgotten until their family probably swooped in to obtain every single thing left behind after their death.

Lily asked him about it before he had the chance to bring up her parents again - she couldn’t handle talking about them in that moment, and she wasn’t surprised when Raphael confirmed her suspicions.

“It’s one of the reasons why I left home about eight years ago.” His voice was quiet as he stared at the floor.

_He left?_

Concern settled in her stomach as she took in his furrowed brows and his slightly hunched posture. “What happened?”

“My parents kept an annoyingly close eye on me for a while. I couldn’t go anywhere without them being there. I mean, I know I was eleven at the time, but still.” He bent his head as he rubbed the back of his neck. “They avoided answering any questions I had about you, and like I said, they didn’t let me see your parents. I couldn’t help but find it interesting how they backed off after your-” he caught himself as he looked at her with an apologetic expression and she knew what he had been about to say - _...They backed off when your parents passed away._

She nodded, asking him to continue.

“Asking them anything would have been a waste of time, so I tried snooping in their stuff. I found some sort of document in my father’s study - it basically gave them ownership of your home.” He paused for a moment, looking almost ashamed. “Aside from that, I never found anything else.”

Lily had spent all those years in the Circle thinking that Raphael hated her when in reality, he never even knew where she was.

In that moment, she _hated_ her family.

Raphael fidgeted with his hands, eyes distant as he stared at the floor. “After that, it was just a bunch of little things that stacked up over the years. My father tried to get me involved in politics once I turned eighteen even though I had no interest in them. He forced me to attend dinners with people who were so full of themselves, I’m surprised they were even able to scarf down the roast pig they were served.”

He shifted in his seat as he drew in a shaky breath. “The final straw was when he found out about a girl I was sort of infatuated with at the time. She worked in a small bakery with her grandmother in the central market. He saw us talking once, and it had been the one time I mustered up the courage to even talk to her, but I guess it was enough for him to figure it out. I’m not sure what he did, but she wouldn’t talk to me again after that and her grandmother basically told me to stay away. A week later, he tells me that I am to marry some noble’s daughter.”

Lily gaped at him for a few seconds before covering her open mouth with her hand. “Maker.”

Raphael’s expression was one of tired resignation as he slowly nodded in agreement. “I was twenty-one at the time and he acted like he was doing me a favor by getting me to marry so young.” He deepened his voice, no doubt trying to imitate his father. “ _‘This union will bring us great wealth and political gain, son.’_ Honestly, I didn’t give a fuck about what would be gained - I was just _done_.” He puffed out his cheeks as he sighed. “I left very soon after that, but not before writing a note telling them I renounced everything and to not go looking for me.”

Lily couldn’t help feel proud of him. She knew how it felt, to leave behind everything that was familiar. Their situations were obviously extremely different, but she knew it couldn’t have been very easy for him anyway. “What did you do after you left?”

“I’ve gotten by with a few jobs here and there. At first it was mostly cleaning out stables and then I managed to work in some taverns after a farmer was kind enough to teach me how to cook. The poor man got a look at what I made for supper one night and he immediately dragged me into his kitchen,” he chuckled at the memory. “I was staying in Redcliffe when we received word about what happened at the Conclave… and that’s when I heard your name for the first time in years.”

She smiled at him. “I have to admit, I’m still surprised you didn’t believe all the claims the Chantry was making.”

“Lily, I remember you were bawling your eyes out in the market when you stepped on a dog’s paw. I saw you hug it and give it a bunch of kisses before giving it a chicken leg as a peace offering. I knew there was no way you were guilty of what happened.” He stretched his arms over his head with a groan, wincing when he strained his injured shoulder. “That, and I’ve always had a feeling the chantry was full of shit, anyway.”

She grinned as she remembered the large, fluffy dog. “My mother was so mad when she saw me covered in dog hair.”

Raphael laughed as he rubbed his shoulder. “That must have been something. So, I know this might be a stupid question, but how has everything been? Are you okay?”

Lily looked at him for a moment before deciding to tell him the truth. Well, a version of it. “Honestly, it hasn’t been easy. But I think I’m doing okay, all things considered.”

He tried to say something, but all that came out was a yawn. “Ugh, sorry.”

“It’s alright,” she smiled at him as she rose from her seat. “I’ve kept you up long enough and you need to rest. Do you need anything from the tavern?”

He shook his head as he stood from his own cot. “It’s okay, I’ll eat in the morning.”

Lily nodded, pausing as she looked at him. “It was good to see you after so long,” she murmured, as tears filled her eyes once more. “I’m sorry for the way I reacted earlier.”

Raphael shrugged. “It’s alright. Considering how our family is, I don’t really blame you.”

She stepped forward and wrapped her arms around him, smiling when he hugged her back tightly. It felt as if a small weight had been lifted from her shoulders as she picked her bag up from the floor and wished him a goodnight before heading back to her cabin.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading <3


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